A Broken Mask
by Lights of Setsumi Island
Summary: Mikan, a simple schoolgirl at Alice Academy has had enough. Assuming that her friends don't care for her at all the wants to show her true self, an emotionless shell. What can Hotaru, Natsume, and Ruka do to help her? Some language...Dare ya to read this
1. Breaking of the Mask

**New fanfic......Yay? Sorry. I write very depressing stories. I'm just not that cut out for a good happy story. I'm not really surprised that I am not a popular writer.....*huddles in corner***

**I'm sure that a bunch of people have read a story like this. Its seems kinda my style'ish of writing, tell me how this turns out...(*mumbles* **_**terribly**_**) This might be partially a songfic...**

_Italic is for thoughts._

_**------------------------------------------------------**_

**~*~*~*Mikan's POV~*~*~***

I walk into my classroom for another glorious day. Wait, wha? I mean a day full of my lies. Its just another facade of many things. My personality, face, smile.....all lies. I feel my mask cracking under the weight of this insane pressure of being an idiot.

I do my daily idiotic stuff, such as trying to hug the ice queen, Hotaru. Like every morning I get hit with her Baka gun and go to my desk crying FAKE chibi tears.

I felt myself tearing itself apart with this fake crap I've been doing.....I can't take much more of this...

_'Should I truly call these people my friends?' _I thought as I sat down.

"Ohayo, Natsume!," I practically yelled in my **usual **happy way at Natsume. And as usual he ignored me.

I waved at Ruka, and he waved back. The one person to actually acknowledge me today. About time.....But then again, he is the only one that actually does say 'Hi' to me in the mornings or wave at me in this case..

_**Crack**__.....my mask is falling apart....shit._

I kept my grin in place. And our teacher stood up.

_'Oh, lucky me, we have Jin-jin today..' _I thought aimlessly.

I hoped that my temper didn't get the best of me. I stiffened as he called on me answer a question.

"Sakura! Tell me the answer to this question!," he yelled as he rapped the board roughly with his carry-around-24/7-stick. His frog croaked as it had a goofy grin on it's face. Much like my fake one.

I knew the answer, but I'm SUPPOSED to be a bumbling idiot with no common sense sooo...

"Umm, uhh, 633 = Z?," I said as stupidly as I could manage.

"Idiot! That's a detention for you Sakura! I don't know who could be so stupid in this entire world!," He yelled.

_**CRACK.......**__Ouch....don't break on me now mask..._

I tried to look as glum as possible for missing a simple question.

"You should be knocked back into a remedial class, or better yet a preschool class!," Jin-jin continued to yell.

_**CRACK**__.....you pushing it, you fucking old bastard...._

I felt my mouth twitch into a grimace, or a snarl...

I took a swift glance at Hotaru. I felt like tearing her eyes out as I saw her ignoring the entire thing searching for something. She almost smiled when it seemed like she had found what she was searching for. She didn't care.....

"Honestly! I don't even see how you got into this academy! Your completely worthless-," he went on but I didn't hear the rest.

I ran out of the room, fuming. I ran straight into the northern woods. I didn't care that I was in a deep forest lost. I ran to my favorite spot and sat there. I wondered should I let go of the tears that threatened to spill....

I wasn't about to cry because of a detention, far from it. I'd recieved many detention on many different occasions. No, this time it was because I was ignored, nobody ever stood up with me or for me, not even Hotaru. I felt so alone. My mask was crumbling slowly, I could feel it. My mask of feelings...

**~*~*~*Hotaru's POV~*~*~***

I looked up from my invention in front of me as I heard Jinno start to insult Mikan. This was a daily process of course but that doesn't mean I can't get a bit angry over it.

I felt my temper rising rapidly and I casually leaned over to search for any heavy gun or weapon I could use to injure Jinno without hid knowing.

I felt my face brighten slightly as I found my latest model o my baka gun. Only difference with this baka gun is that it also fires at people I hate or want to hurt at the present time. Also whats better is that it also doesn't make the "Baka" sound. Silent and smooth.

Just as I was about to silently shoot the gun at full power when suddenly I heard loud footsteps get up angrily.

I turned to see Mikan with a face that was purely pissed off. She ran out of the room, almost like she wanted to leave forever...

_'What just happened? Mikan......' _I thought as Mikan stormed out of the room on the verge of tears.

I blinked a few times and had a urge to find her. I wanted to comfort her, but that was never much of my strongpoint and I wondered whether to actually do it.

I sat there, doing nothing. My urge to help Mikan doubled with each and every passing second. I couldn't just sit here right? My best friend is suffering and I am not doing anything to help her?

I lept to my feet after that thought. I couldn't help it anymore. I felt worse when I remembered I had wasted so much time. I glanced at my watch.

_'Damn it! Its already been 10 minutes!' _I thought.

"Imai, please sit down while I teach class," Jinno snapped.

_'Shut up! Your a fucking terrible teacher, your supposed to help your students, bastard!' _I thought loudly. Funny thing is, is that the first sentence slipped quite loudly.

Thank god only Koko heard the last part, because as I ran out the door to search for Mikan I saw his smile gone and his eyes wide.

"Imai-san! I'll come with you!," I heard a male voice say. I didn't say anything, it was abvious it was Ruka. Oddly enought behind him I saw out of the corner of my eye I saw Natsume. He had a normal unsmiling face, but his eyes had an odd glimmer. Worry?

**~*~*~*Ruka's POV~*~*~***

My mind flared as Jinno insulted Sakura-san in front of the entire class. I made a mental note that I would **ACCIDENTLY** put a lion in his room tonight.

I tried not to snap a rude comment at Jinno. It was more difficult that expected.

Usagi's ears were down at the sides of her head. She was glaring at Jinno too, that made me a bit happier.

_I wonder if I could convince Jinno's pet frog to take a piss on his head...._

I clenched the desk's side to keep from jumping up and sending a flock of eagles over through the open window at Jinno...I saw Koko take a quick glance at me, smiling a large goofy smile.

Just then Mikan lept up from her desk and ran at the door, on the verge of tears. Ok, now I admit, I honestly **WILL**put a lion in Jinno's bedroom tonight.....

I sat there, not doing anything. My mind just went blank. My mouth dropped ever so slightly. I don't know how long I sat like that...until Imai suddenly screeched.

"SHUT UP!!!," Imai screeched through Jinno's lecture.

She bolted for the door, not to run away, but obviously to search for Mikan. I ran after her without thinking.

"Imai-san! I'll come with you!," I yelled. I noticed Natsume get up to follow me.

**~*~*~*Natsume's POV~*~*~***

I twitched slightly as Jinno's string of insults began. Hmm.....maybe setting someone's hair on fire other than Mikan's might be fun. I really wanted to, ok, fine, **almost**wanted to murder Jinno.

But then again, why should I worry about Polka? She is just an idiot.

I felt myself getting angrier by the second as Jinno kept going on about her idiocy and worthlessness....

_Mikan isn't worthless!!! If you say another insult bastard I swear I will light that frog on fire later! Dammit!_

_I felt my jaw clench as another insult was thrown...bye bye froggy...._

I looked up slightly as Polka came running towards the door. My face changed to slight worry as she ran by, almost crying. I was about to run after her, before my thoughts stopped me.

_"What the hell do you think your doing? You'll be the laughing stock if you follow her! You are Natsume after all!" a voice in my head screamed._

_'Shut up! This is Polka! She is a friend that I need to help! I can't just leave her crying somewhere!' I responded to the annoying voice._

_"Idiot, think of you reputation, what do you think will happen to it?," the voice snapped._

_'Screw my fucking reputation! I don't care!,' I yelled at the voice._

_"To give you more of a reason why you shouldn't go after her is that what do you think will happen if Persona finds out that you like a girl? What do think will happen to her?," the voice said slowly._

_'Persona......that bastard, he wouldn't try it would he? And I don't like her! She is just a friend!," I growled at the voice._

_"Yeah, just keep telling yourself that, meanwhile I'll be leaving," the voice said as it drifted away._

I felt my face relax a bit as I wondered about to go find her or not. At the moment Imai yelled something out at Jinno and ran towards the door. I was about to follow her when Ruka followed her quicker that I did.

I just hope she is okay. If she is hurt I will honestly kill Jinno.

**~*~*~*Back to Mikan~*~*~***

I know. I'll finally take off my mask. This is what is best. If I keep hiding my true nature I'll break under the pressure of keeping it up. From now on...my mask will be broken....Torn off and shattered. I could barely keep up the facade for a year, but this is the end of it, I'll let go of te fragments of my old self.

Why should I care for 'friends' that don't care for me? Why bother with people like at? This is where I'll break my ties. I just can't take anymore of this pain and suffering. It will be easier to just be my cold, emotionless self. Less of a strain on this withering body. But then again, what should I expect when I have the lifespan shortening type?

**-------------------------------------**

**Sooo.....it wasn't terrible was it? I know there are bound to be a nice amount of typos in this. Please review if you can and tell me what you think. Perferably good things to keep my hopes up but there are sure to be people out there telling me this was their idea....No, I have already read a nice amount of fanfictions with pretty much the same plot. **

**Here is a little secret, the more reviews I get from different people the more likely I'll post the second shapter faster. I'm easily motivated and un-motivated. What you do will affect what I do to this fanfiction. Sorry to pressure you like that, but its the truth.**

**Review? :P**


	2. Mind Talk, and Kidnapping

**Wow, I didn't expect that many people to review! ^_^. Sorry it took a while to update. I've been away from my computer for a few days then got lazy, and it saddens me to make you guys wait. Here is the next chapter! Enjoy! Review some more! Put a pointless review if you like! ^_^**

**Just don't put a random cruel review, its kinda mean considering you don't even know me. Yeah, I'm talking to you person......I will haunt you...Yes, I'm ghost, I died of boredom in 2005......*_***

**Bold for something big!**

_**Italics for thoughts!**_

**Underline for importance**

**----------------The Next Day----------------**

**~*~*~*Mikan's POV~*~*~***

I brushed the dirt off my skirt. Finally, I was going to be myself. I looked at the ground sighing in defeat. I should have done this so long ago...

I entered the classroom and it fell silent as soon as I opened the door. I sat down next to Hotaru who was looking at me worriedly.

_When Hotaru, Natsume and Ruka found me I was casually walking through the gardens the Misaki-sensei planted. And stomping on the fireflowers that wouldn't keep their flames to themselves._

_Hotaru came up to me and simply stared at me silently but worriedly. I ignored her and walked away._

_Or, I tried to walk away at least. As I was walking Natsume stepped in front of me obviously kinda irritated, and that brightened my face slightly._

_"Oi, Polka. Where are you going?," Natsume said blandly. I didn't say anything but tried to sidestep him. Quite obviously it didn't work._

_"Hey! I'm talking to you! Where are you going?," he repeated. _

_I glared at him and I practically snarled through my teeth as I growled at him._

_"Why the hell do you want to know, bastard?," I growled, I felt myself wanting to push him, or punch him._

_He stared at me with wide eyes and his mouth was gaping slightly, or was that Ruka? I dunno, I was already walking away by the time they snapped out of it probably._

"Hello Class! Today I will be teaching because you teacher Jinno was unexpectedly attacked by a lion in his bedroom for some strange reason and will be in the hospital for a solid month at least. And if you would please look at the bulletin board he has posted a reward about his frog going missing!," Narumi gleefully said, though he was eyeing Ruka who was innocently **(though stiffly) **playing with his bunny not paying attention.

Natsume's face was hidden under a manga book. Even though he was like that he seemed too tense to be sleeping.

There were cheers in the classroom about what had happened to Jinno.

_"That bastard got what he should have! He gave us triple homework! And a six page essay!,"_

_"Yeah, I hope the lion wasn't hurt...I'd like to congratulate it!,"_

_"Hehe, I wonder what his face looked like, XD,"_

**"W-we shouldn't talk about our teacher like that!," someone said.**

All heads turned but mine. I was obvious to me that the person who said that was Yuu or Iincho as some people call him. He **NOW** has the kindest disposition out of all of us here now. And I don't envy him a bit.

During the distraction Hotaru put her hand on my shoulder gently.

_Heh, I bet she thought that I was going to stop them from talking before Yuu said anything, think again Ice Queen!_

I shook off her hand roughtly and pulled out a random text book to study. As I did this I felt more than one pair of eyes on me.

I turned to see everyone in the classroom staring at me. I gave them a glare that made Permy squeak.

I turned back to my textbook successfully drowning out all the ripples of voices. This was going to be a long day indeed.....

**~*~*~*Hotaru's POV~*~*~***

I walked to the classroom in silence. I probably had bags under my eyes. After what happened yesterday, I couldn't sleep. I walked slowly, hoping to pass time quicker. And as I opened the door I was the only one there.

I slumped myself down in my seat. That was the first time I think I ever slumped. I didn't move. Instead I thought......and as I did, my head began throb...

I waited in the classroom. I came unusually early. Not only that I had a headache from all the crap that happened yesterday and sleep deprivision. The class was loud and I felt angry at myself for not standing up for her yesterday.

I heard the door open and the class was silent instantly. Obviously Mikan was here and as soon as she sat down I looked over at her worriedly. She took no heed to my stare at all. Im fact, she acted as if I had never existed.

My memories from yesterday flashed in front of my eyes. The garden, Mikan, Mikan cussing, the way she acted. Though usually my emotionless mask is there I couldn't hide this.

I'll flat out and think it as loud as I possible can, _**I'M WORRIED ABOUT MIKAN!!!!!!!**_

I heard the gayfer Narumi going on about something, but I didn't care. Mikan was more important right now.

I heard loud cheers around me and my headache ached even worse than it did before.

I heard Yuu yell out something and the class quieted slightly. I seized the opportunity to try to console with Mikan, right now I at least wanted her to acknowledge me.....

Slowly and gently, I lowered my hand on her shoulder.

_Mikan, please...what happened? Where is the warm happy face of yours? Mikan....where are you? Mikan...Mikan!!!_

As I thought that, Mikan roughly shook off my hand.

_Does she hate me? I should have treated her better.....there is no else to blame....I always hurt her as she tried to hug me, comfort me......_

My hand froze in midair. I felt myself almost want to start crying, but I don't cry, I shouldn't. Not at least in front of the class.

Mikan pulled out a textbook and studied it. And the class went silent. Mikan turned and glared at them and I heard someone squeak in fear.

_......Mikan........what have I done to you?_

**~*~*~*Ruka's POV~*~*~***

I watched Usagi idly. What happened? Where is the Mikan we know?

I froze as the class cut-off all activity in the room and Mikan came inside.

I turned slightly towards Natsume. He seemed to be ignoring everything. His manga book was on his face so that you couldn't see his expression at all, though I doubt it was good.

I recalled yesterday. What Mikan said. I remember myself with a slightly gaping mouth as she said those cruel things directed at Natsume.

I tried to act casual. It was extremely difficult. I tried to focus on Narumi's mini speech and play with Usagi at the same time.

"Hello Class! Today I will be teaching because you teacher Jinno was unexpectedly attacked by a lion in his bedroom for some strange reason and will be in the hospital for a solid month at least. And if you would please look at the bulletin board he has posted a reward about his frog going missing!," Narumi gleefully said, though he was eyeing me and I tried to play with Usagi casually.

_'Shit.....he found out it was me, not like it was that hard to figure it out but honestly! This isn't the first time some random animal attacked someone and I had nothing to do with it.'_

As I thought this Koko had a nervous smirk on his face.

I ignored the cheers of joy at Jinno's injuries. Though it partially satisfied me, I blame myself and him for what happened to Mikan.

He insulted he in front of the entire class.......and I did nothing be watch her suffer.......

I felt angry at myself.....but its no too late to change things back to the way it was.

I watched as Imai try to comfort Mikan. I watched intently, but my hopes shattered as Mikan brushed off Imai's hand. Ok, she didn't brush it off, she threw Imai's hand back at her to be more specific.

I twitched as Mikan pulled out a textbook. ......._So she really was smart? Why hide that fact?_

I heard a squeak, but ignored it. I glanced at Natsume.

He was still hidden under his manga. He didn't move the entire time......

**~*~*~*Natsume's POV~*~*~***

_Tch....Polka hasnt acted normal....what the hell happened?_

I was sure I'd be the first to come to class. But Imai was already here. I came to savored the peace that was going to be here...I laid back and placed my manga book on my face for a nap.

_'You know, part of this is your fault...'_

_"What the hell? Why are you in my head? Get out!"_

_'Don't be so uptight.'_

_"Am I going to ask how you know?"_

_'Shut up Natsume, I already know your worried about her.'_

_"Hn, who __**HER**__?"_

_'Don't act so dumb you little bastard! You unknowingly caused her to be like this!'_

_"You mean Mikan? I didn't do anything to her"_

_'Thats just it idiot, __**you didn't do anything to her**__, you didn't even aknowledge her all this time practically....''_

_"......................"_

_'You starting to get it? You didn't ever care for her at all. You led your light to the agony of darkness'_

_"....................."_

_'You led her to this.....though your unwilling to admit it....'_

_".....................how did I lead her?"_

_'You ignored the girl you love you stupid bastard..........she at least wanted to be your friend when everyone else didn't care about what your feelings were....she __**Tried**__ to help you emotionless bastard!!!_

_"She was just being annoying....thats all......"_

_'Humph....so you don't deny that you love her. Interesting Natsume.'_

_"Huh? What? I don't love her! Why would I love someone like her?"_

_'You keep telling yourself that.'_

_"You said that last time....."_

_'What I'm saying is the truth. I'm your mind Natsume. These are your true feelings. Shatter your mask, just tell her, you love her. Maybe what is under her mask will be changed, to her true self. That self of her that you saw was nothing more than another shell. Break the last shell.....give her mind freedom...'_

_"Mask? Shell? Love? Freedom? What the hell are you talking about?"_

_'Fine, since I'm your mind I'll need to explain this crap to you.'_

_"Go on...."_

_'Every person has a mask, no, its not visible. It is a mask that hides true feelings. Some people have more layers than others...their emotions rule over their masks._

_"So, how many masks do I have?"_

_'Most have the max of about four, I guess you have about two I think'_

_"Think? Your my mind. How can you not know?"_

_'Well, I'm sorree!!! I'm not that kind of alice!'_

_"There is a kind of alice for this?"_

_'You ask too many freaking questions, after I explain this I'm going back to sleep in you head. This alice is called the Emotion Shattering Alice. Its extremely rare. As far as I know there has only had one reported case of this alice ever. I remember everything you've read and a long time ago you read about this alice. What it does is shattering a mask by force to show the person's true self. Its a very dangerous alice and it was mainly used for interrogations.', my mind's voice took a short break._

_'Most of the time though the person who had it would go around causing mayhem. The downside to this is that if the alice is used on a person who has had all their masks shattered then they will inevitably die. The killing technique is caused on purpose because the person with the Emotion Shattering Alice can tell how many masks the person still has. Boy, that was a long explanation, I'm sleepy now....talk ...later....', the voice drifted away like before._

_"Well, I guess you have limits too. Now I need to find out wherever the hell I read about that!"_

Snapping out of my thoughts, I noticed I was very stiff and turned to see I was in an empty classroom. I actually thought during class for once....

I ran to the library, hoping to find more information on this strange Emotion Shattering Alice.

**~*~*~*Mikan's POV (again)~*~*~***

I stretched as I got ready for bed. You think people would have stopped staring at me throughout the entire day, but nope.

Walking over to by bed, I saw my window open.

_'Strange, I never opened my window...'_

That was all I remember as a hand hit one of my neck's main pressure points and knocked me out.

"So, did you get the little brat with the Stealing Alice?", a man's voice said.

".............hai......" replied the kidnapper

"Good Garasu, now lock her up, and don't forget to put Alice Restrainers on her," the man said as he smiled a small sinister simle.

"Hai, Yajuu-sama. May I take Kusa with me?" the kidnapper asked

"Hmm, why not?" Yajuu said, staring at the light of the moon.

**Ok! Finally this thing is done! Sorry for the super long wait!**

**Here are what my "new" character's names mean!**

**Garasu- glass**

**Yajuu- beast, monster, wild animal**

**Kusa- grass**

**Review, and if you want to say something so harsh, its unreasonable, don't review. **

**Criticism is alright with me. Just tell me what I can do better, just don't overdo it.**


End file.
